Jiffy Lube

So, as fate would have it, me and the Jiffy Lube guy have spent some quality time together this week. He’s probably about 27 yrs old and a real loud mouth. You know the kind, loves to explain anything and everything to anyone that will listen. Well anyway, the registration was up and it took me three different trips there plus a run to visit Eduardo up at Auto 1 and a visit to Ogden, a couple hundred dollars and two registration expired tickets to get my car (hopefully) up to par to pass safety and emissions. Yesterday felt a bit like judgment day as I sat in the Jiffy Lube waiting room waiting to see if they would pass my car.

I showed up after a long day of work and school about an hour before closing, plenty of time right? All they had to do was say, yes you did in fact replace your windshield and, yes you sure did get some new dust boots on those upper ball joints. However, an hour later I was still sitting there.

The first time I went into Jiffy Lube about a week ago I tried to muster up all the feminine powers that apparently I don’t hold to get my new friend to pass my car. I smiled real big and acted oblivious and even offered to get the guy some dinner while he worked on my car. I know, why don’t I just sell out and become that girl at the drop of a dime? Well, desperate times call for desperate measures, I am totally broke. While he joked back he was not budging. Whatever, I can deal with that.

So now here we are a week later, me and him. The difference now, though, is that I am tired, hungry, and had learned more about upper ball joints in the past week than I would ever like to know and am positive that my car should pass. After about an hour sitting there I got up and flagged my friend down to see what was taking so long. Oops! They had pulled my car to the side and helped the six people who had come after me. They’ll get to it right away. But anyway, so you a student? Oh yea, what you studying? English eh? We’ve got a Lois Lane on our hands, I bet you are a real good writer.

Umm, what? Here I am in this greasy garage with Jiffy Lube guy leaning up against the tool shelf smiling down at me trying to make small talk and calling me Lois Lane after he wouldn’t pick up the bait last week. Perhaps I had missed something, but really? I politely smiled and tried to muster up a semi-girly laugh so he would remember that the green Honda Accord was on track to pass and turned around and went back into the waiting room.

A few minutes later he came back in with the news that I had, in fact, passed the safety and emissions test. Hallelujah! At this point I was ready to pay whatever it is I needed to to get that dumb ’09 sticker and be on my way. Jiffy Lube man takes his sweet time explaining to me about the taxes I can pay there instead of going to the DMV bla bla bla and I’m like, yea yea okay whatever here’s my credit card. The deal is done and he follows me out to my car and starts again with the small talk.

So I’m standing there car done and paid for standing with one foot in the drivers side and this guy starts telling me how good he is at English. “Yea, I mean, I am great at English. I could probably do English, you know? My wife, man, she’s from Mexico, and she’s always screwin it up. I’m always like, hell that’s not how you say it, and then I correct her. Again and again with the same mistakes I don’t know why she won’t catch on. I know grammar so well I always tell her about it but she just won’t listen.”

Not knowing exactly how to respond to that I quickly agree that that’s rough, good luck with the Mexican wife and everything and get in my car and get out of there.